13 Cases of Google-Induced
Mistaken Identity
Looking for April Kent? April Elliott? You may or may not have come to the right place! Just for the record:
- I’m not the actress best known for her role as pint-sized Clarice in “The Incredible Shrinking Woman,” although it would look awesome on my resume.
- I haven’t been 14 for, oh, 31 years or so. But I do write and sing, so it’s an easy mistake.
- Yikes! No, I’m not this 16-year-old fleeing a drug-riddled school in East Baton Rouge. Thank God. Good luck, kiddo!
- I’m not the Coordinator of Support Services at Emmanuel College, Boston, but darn it, good luck with those profession codes!
- I’m not the the owner of The Pond Headquarters in Acworth, Georgia, though props to her for creating that fall business!
- I’m not an environmentally conscious kindergarten teacher in Hopkinton, New Hampshire.
- I am not the new sales assistant for the Hilton Hartford, though I wish her well.
- I am not a judge for the Pinal County Superior Court Division 8, although I too graduated Magna Cum Laude, Your Honor.
- I am not the managing editor of The Morning Journal, a newspaper in Lorain, Ohio.
- I have never worked as a Scheduler for Rep. Hilda Solis, D-California-32nd. And damn girl, you deserve a raise.
- I am not married to anyone named Matt, and have not qualified as a “young adult” in about 25 years.
- I’m not an MD who lectures on Eating Disorders.
- I would never show up 15 minutes late to a Library Advisory Board meeting, missy!
