May

15

Here’s an appropriate topic for this Moon in Libra Thursday. I had an email this morning from a reader who was disappointed that my wedding astrology services do not include gay unions. Following is my response to her; I hope folks will weigh in and let me know if you think I’m being hidebound about this or if there’s anything you think I’ve overlooked.

# # #

Let me offer an explanation, which I assure you has nothing to do with a desire to exclude or discriminate against gay folks (you’ll find few more avid proponents of gay rights in general, and gay marriage in particular, than I!) and everything to do with a rather hidebound and didactic approach to astrology (of which I’m certainly guilty; Pluto in Virgo!).

If a gay friend came to me and asked me to choose a date for his or her union, I wouldn’t hesitate. “You bet!” I would say. In fact, even if they didn’t ask I would give them my opinion. I’m obnoxious that way.

But. Now, stay with me and remember that I mean no offense - I’m just reporting the facts. A union, however well intentioned and sincere, is not a marriage. Which is, of course, why many in the gay and straight communities insist that gay marriage should be legally recognized. From a personal point of view, I make no distinction whatever between gay unions and legal marriage (other than a profound gratitude that my gay friends have never forced me into a tacky bridesmaid dress). But from an astrological point of view, the situation is a little sticky.

Marriage is not just a covenant between two people; it’s a legal relationship and a pact between those two people and the society in which they live. Sadly, our society - with few exceptions; I have hopes for California’s Supreme Court today - does not recognize legal marriage between same-sex couples. And since the centuries-old traditions of electional astrology on which I based my research into wedding dates, and on which I base my work, was never faced with this distinction, I don’t have quite the hard and fast tradition on which to base electional work for non-legal unions as I do for marriage.

An example from the world of heterosexual couples will illustrate this quandary. Many times I choose wedding dates for a couple and for whatever reason it proves inconvenient to use them for their wedding ceremony (even though, mind you, I ask them in advance what months, days, and hours are acceptable; but don’t get me started on that). They’ll come to me and plaintively ask, “But can’t we just go out in a field at the astrologically acceptable time and exchange our vows, and then have the regular ceremony for everyone else later? Doesn’t that count? What matters is our commitment to each other!” Well, no, it doesn’t count - at least, not as a wedding. It may be an honest declaration of feeling and even a solemn promise of intention - but it is not a legally binding relationship. The rules - and the ramifications for breaching them - are not necessarily the same, either personally, legally, or astrologically, as those ruling legally-binding marriage.

Now. Gay couples in the U.S., with few exceptions, do not have the option of legally binding marriage. And to be honest, astrologically, the rules are probably pretty much the same for unions as for marriage. For a union I might give less emphasis to Mercury, the ruler of contracts. I might read Saturn, the ruler of society’s norms, a bit differently. But the interpersonal stuff - good aspect between Sun/Moon, Venus/Mars, all the rest - is probably about the same. This would be the basis of my work for a gay friend who was getting hitched.

But do I feel confident enough in that to offer that as a service and take people’s money for it? I don’t think so - not until I’ve satisfied myself with some research that the rules can be applied in the same way to unions as to marriages. My fervent hope is that this will become a moot point before I ever have a chance to do this research.

If you do wedding electional work, do you offer services for unions? Am I just being an astrological tight-ass? Share your thoughts.

Update: Late breaking news from Susie in comments - California’s top court overturns gay marriage ban!

May 15, 2008 |

Comments

10 Comments so far

Susie from Philly on May 15, 2008 9:20 am
The ruling’s just in and the CA Supreme Court says barring gay marriage is unconstitutional.
April on May 15, 2008 9:37 am
California kicks much ass. That is all.
Maria on May 15, 2008 12:30 pm
This blog entry is officially PWNED!!1!! by the California Supreme court.

HA!
April on May 15, 2008 12:59 pm
Heh - as IF, Maria! 2 down, 48 to go!
Maria on May 16, 2008 7:32 am
LOL. True!
Frank H on May 21, 2008 4:19 pm
Hi April,

I did appreciate your take on the marriage issue. It’s a good reminder that we need to be true to our astrology.

If our sense of community is created within a leagal framework, this needs to be included in our astrology.
Fel on June 8, 2008 4:30 pm
Not a fulfilling answer. Just tailor your approach to the facts at hand, don’t discriminate.
April on June 8, 2008 5:02 pm
The facts at hand, as you put it, are these: If a couple cannot be legally married, I am not confident that either my research or astrological tradition backs me up in electing a date for their union. And I’m not going to take people’s money for doing work that I’m not confident in. Period.

Take your beef to the legal and societal institutions that are the real source of discrimination, instead of picking fights with people who are in your corner. In the meantime, I’ll elect dates for any couple who can be legally married, period - and that happily includes same-sex couples in California and Massachusetts.
Fel on June 10, 2008 3:11 pm
So much for your admonition to “speak your mind”. Sure, and get your fire and brimstone if it doesn’t agree with yours! Anyway, I still don’t buy your argument, sorry.
April on June 10, 2008 5:27 pm
And you do nothing at all to further your cause, Fel. What kind of reaction do you expect when you post something that is completely insubstantial and rudely presumes to tell me what to do? That’s not conversation - that’s a clumsy and unimpressive attempt at bullying.

Do you honestly think I invite comments on my blog in order to encourage people like you to stop by and piss in my face? I do not. And when it happens, you bet your ass you’re gonna get some fire and brimstone in response.

Comments closed. You bore me. Grow a pair and email me if you want to continue this - I’m not offering you a public forum for it.

Sign of Leo

Moon sextiles Mercury at
4:20 pm on Jul.5, 2008

Moon opposes Neptune at
5:22 pm on Jul.5, 2008

Moon trines Pluto at
3:05 am on Jul.6, 2008

Moon goes void of course at
3:05 am on Jul.6, 2008

Moon enters Virgo at
4:04 am on Jul.6, 2008

Moon conjuncts Mars at
9:19 am on Jul.6, 2008

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